I've been wanting

I’ve been wanting to tell you about mud season and the deep chasmy ruts swamping our road, more numerous and slip-slidey treacherous than any year yet. Then the cold snap hit defying the vernal equinox, not an out of the ordinary occurrence in Vermont, and I’d then wanted to tell you about the chill, the snow replacing what had melted, halting the tease of Spring, more white upon white upon white, relentless, erasing any memory of green . And I want to tell you of the geese, of Shmuel the protector, the fierce, the proud, and of the almost daily pile up of eggs that we’ve been snatching unbeknownst to he and the girls (we think) and then mailing them to people desirous of their own flock of Pilgrims. And I want to tell you how proud and colorful and erect our Tom Turkey is, our 2 Toms actually, for one of the ones we were sure was a hen popped out its tail feathers one afternoon and its head turned deep purple and red and prehistoric. And can we talk about their waddle (is that it?) that organ just north of its beak that goes from looking like a small unicorn’s horn, slightly pale and purple, to, when excited, long and red yet flaccid, hanging over and down below its beak, engorged with blood as it feathers itself out fully in proud male regalia. It’s a bit of an erection in reverse, longer, yes, but flaccid when excited, erect yet smaller when at rest. Also, the waddle’s length grows and diminishes when the turkey’s eating because it gets in the way. One of them swallowed it one day and had to cough it up. Fascinating. I know this is a grab bag of things, but I’ve been wanting and I thought it was high time to share.

I’m in Banff, Canada at the moment, but still connected to VPR and I’m hearing winter storm warnings. Going out like a lion, is March. I’m forgetting, did it really come in like a lamb? And did the groundhog really see its shadow? Vermont is much chillier than Banff, and we’re at a much higher altitude. Don’t know if that’s a sign of pride, but there it is. Wowee-zowee.

Happy April, everyone. Go ahead and be foolish. It’s good for all of us.